Posted by: Caitlin | November 21, 2008

A Memo To The Stars

Hello, all. It’s your absentee Untypical Girl, Caitlin.

How’s it going? Long time no see in the hockey blogosphere. (Yeah, yeah, I know.)

Truth be told, I haven’t had time to watch a ton of hockey. I missed tonight’s game due to a variety of extenuating circumstances, but a big chunk of it was lack of motivation. I’m working like crazy right now and trying to juggle a lot of balls in the air and you know what? I didn’t feel particularly inclined to devote time and energy to something that I felt in the end could only depress me.

So I took a gander at the box score. Now, that’s depressing.

I may not be the most knowledgeable about hockey; I may not be the most experienced hockey blogger out there, but I’ve got some useful tips for the Stars in this moment that I think…I just think…might be helpful.

  • Gag Brett Hull.

That’s right. I know he’s always been a hyperactive motormouth, but shut him up. I don’t want to see quotes from him defending Avery any longer or defending the co-GMs’ decisions. Put a cork in it, Brett. You’re exacerbating the frustrations of the fans. Shit like this:

All the rumors you hear of Sean Avery are so (bleeping) (bull) — he’s been great. He’s our leading plus-minus guy. He’s been playing hard, (shoot), he’s playing (bleeping) hurt.

A tip of the hat to the girls at Stop Hitting Robidas for the heads-up on that quote. Frankly, I don’t care. I don’t want to read this repeatedly. If you’re not a part of the solution at this point, I don’t really give a damn. This is ridiculous. We are one point ahead of being at the tail end of the Western Conference.

If Hull has any salient thoughts on what we can do to fix the problem, I’d love to hear them. And something more articulate than “I don’t know what the problem is”. Until then, it would be nice not to have to see the same repetitive quotes over and over again.

  • Chill out on the players talking to the media.

As of right now, I’m lumping everyone in the same boat as far as responsibility goes. They’re all responsible for working as a team and they’re all responsible for working together, not as separate pieces. I keep hearing a variation of the same quote: “We’re not working hard enough”. Not from one player, from several.

If you’re not working hard enough, if your opinion is that the entire team isn’t working hard enough, I don’t want to hear someone spending time to recycle the same quote to the same beat writers continuously. What a waste of your time. What a waste of my time to read it. And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t stick with your team in bad times and in good (more on that later) but I’m getting really tired of hearing the same crap spouted continuously to see virtually the same mistakes and the same work-product out on the ice.

Just shut it down.

Quit gabbing to the media and focus on more important things. If I have to go three or four days without hearing a pearl of wisdom drop from a coach or team member’s mouth, I’m quite positive I’ll make it out alright.

  • For God’s sakes, look like you care.

Half the time, most of the Stars look like they have just given up. I hate that. As I’ve espoused before, if they go out and work their asses off and have the score just run up on them, I’m not one hundred percent okay with that, but I’m far more okay with that than I am just watching guys give up. Man up. Suck it up. Get going. I’m sick of watching this team deflate just because Turco let a bad goal in, because that is certainly not the way it went last year. And while I know we’ve had some parts changed out since then, the core of this team – the leaders and the veterans, like Modano, Zubov, Lehtinen, Morrow, Turco – has stayed, injured or not. This stuff starts from the top and goes down. While I understand Modano’s been understandably not thrilled as of late, it’s time to can it and just get down to business.

  • Fix the locker room.

If this is why someone felt Sydor was needed back in the fold, I don’t want to know. Something’s rotten in the Stars locker room. I could potentially hazard a guess why, but I’ll leave the speculation up to others. Sort it out. I don’t care what it takes, if it’s benching one guy, two guys, bag skates, screaming, yelling, whatever. This is some kindergarten kind of nonsense I see going on and it is eyeroll worthy. Everyone – Avery, you included – needs to just check egos at the door and get the hell over it. If this takes hand holding and group therapy or people duking it out in the parking lot, I don’t care. Resolve it.

  • Quit telling people you don’t know what the problem is.

Get back to defense. Work harder. Make Turco see a psychologist. I don’t care what Hull’s screaming at you, all forwards need to be defensively minded. 5:00 a.m. bag skates should happen, or something. This team lacks confidence, lacks leadership and lacks discipline. If you have to go the second grade route and put up a chart with every player’s name and a gold star/demerit system, DO IT. In fact, I’d love to see that happen. Put them on the reward/punishment system. This, of all things, is not ROCKET SCIENCE.

This is embarrassing and humiliating. I’m not embarrassed for myself; I’m embarrassed for these guys. This is really how you want to represent yourself and the city?

The farther we get, the less and less sympathy I have for the same old rounds of excuses.

Fix it or don’t, guys. But don’t expect for me to have sympathy when the team misses the playoffs and does a proverbial faceplant. Some of these guys deserve better than this, especially in their twilight years, but to be honest: I’m not hurting if we miss the playoffs this year. We’d be lucky at this point to finish the season alive. I just wonder how that must feel for them.

It’s hard, though, to work up any pity for a team that keeps banging their collective heads into a wall.



  1. God, a fucking MILLION kinds of word on EVERY ONE OF THESE. Jesus Christ, it’s getting to the point of being EMBARRASSING. It SHOULD BE embarrassing to the guys. They say it is, but fuck, these guys go to media training and shit.

    I alternate from being sad to being upset and angry. Sad because I don’t like my team losing and looking so fucking sad all the time, and upset/angry because I would have more reason to be sad if they looked like they gave a damn on the ice.

  2. I agree with Cat – so much word to this post. I love the idea of a gold star punishment/reward system. If they’re going to play like a bunch of second graders learning the game for the first time, they should get treated like they are. I also agree that they should shut up and just DO it. Talk is cheap at this point. We’ve heard it before, and it leads to nothing. A good game here and there doesn’t count, either.

  3. Clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap.

    (Although I do appreciate that Modano is at least trying on the ice, even if he’s a little whiny in the locker room. :D )

  4. “It’s hard, though, to work up any pity for a team that keeps banging their collective heads into a wall.”

    Y’know, I thought I’ve heard a weird thumping noise lately. I thought it was just Hull trying to strangle the last dime out of our salary cap.

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