Posted by: Cat | January 25, 2008

NHL YoungStars

There’s a great article on the official Stars website about Happy Meals. His two favorite players growing up were Mike Modano and Uncle Mario – both forwards. Matt, you should add Sergei Zubov to that list before he comes and stabs you. The article mentions that dropping out of college to play hockey was a tedious decision that he spent hours discussing with his parents. It also mentions that he was double majoring in health and physical education. Man, I’m glad the kid is good, otherwise he’d end up a gym coach in Minnesota.

Also, in case you were wondering, he did buy a new car – a 2008 Chevy Silverado. I don’t know what happened to the pimped out Sunfire.

So today in Atlanta, the press interviewed the NHL YoungStars and the coaches did a roundtable discussion or something like that. I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it. I tuned in a little late. Actually, really late, because by the time I turned it on, they were interviewing Tobias Enstrom. Apparently they saved the best for last, at least that’s what the interviewer said. Whatever, Mr. Interviewer Man.

They also took a bunch of photographs. A quick search of Yahoo! Sports and Getty Images leads me to the pictures of Matt Niskanen, and…Man, he looks awkward…

This one isn’t too bad – he’s just playing NHL 2K8 with Mike Lundin, whose sweater-over-oxford combination makes him look like a London schoolboy. The flash of the cameras makes Matt look a little pale, and makes his shirt look white, which it is not.

Oh, Matt. You look so awkward, and I think you should change your shirt and wear a tie. A white shirt with a tie that is some shade of green would look great on you. I have to say that I’m glad you shaved, because that chin-pube thing you had going on a few days ago didn’t look so hot. Also, doesn’t that jacket look a little big on him? I don’t know, the whole thing just kind of looks “I borrowed this from my dad” to me.

So they got portraits of the guys in front of the NHL All-Star banner. That’s all good. However, they put them on thrones. Yes. You read that right. Thrones.

You see that? He’s on a throne. What? I’m confused. He also looks awkward.

See, some of the other YoungStars didn’t look awkward doing this. They looked totally comfortable and fun. Matt Niskanen has obviously been mentored by Russian, because he looks like he wants to get back to his hotel room and play XBox while drinking Stolichnaya.

This is my favorite – he’s smiling a little and I think it’s cute.

Anyway, I hope Happy Meals is having fun in Atlanta. Maybe he’ll get lucky and Ribbons will take him to a strip club while they’re there.



  1. Hahaha, that’s hilarious. Poor, awkward Niskanen. It doesn’t actually matter what kind of pickup truck it is, we just like trucks so that we can pull our fishing boats.

    Also, clearly parents in Minnesota (despite the fact that my dad is from Wisconsin) like to be tedious. We argued about where I was going to school for DAYS.ON.END.

    Moral of the story: everything I hear about this kid makes me like him more.

  2. I think parents in general like to be tedious. I had to get in a screaming match with my parents before we agreed on a school. And then I dropped out, so, you know, I guess the lesson there is to listen at least a little bit.

    I realized my love for the kid when he scored his first NHL goal and I was screaming louder than I’ve ever screamed before. And then I learned stuff about him, and met him, and he’s the raddest. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but he’s my favoritest ever.

  3. I learned the same lesson. I insisted on coming out to the west coast, they wanted me to go to UMD. I’m on the west coast, and I hate it here. Now they won’t let me come home and go to school unless I want to pay for it, because they think I should finish what I started and tough it out. I go to a good school, so I guess I can see the point, but whatever.

    I’ve heard rumblings about him for a long time, State Tournament, UMD Bulldogs, his name came up occasionally. I thought it was cute that everyone was happy to see him when he came back to MN with the Stars, we all cheered for his goal. (I was home at that point on winter break, and we love our own) Now I’m being completely corrupted. I clapped politely, and cheered a bit, but now I feel like since I know more, I’d probably scream my fool head off, even in an arena full of Stars hating fans. I’d probably even have lots of company again.

  4. Now I’m being completely corrupted.

    *cue evil laughter* Next thing you know, you’ll love the whole of the team. All of the Stars. Every single one.

  5. That might be pushing it. A lot. I think I’d lose my citizenship if that happened.

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