With playoffs in a few months (with as fast as this year has gone so far that translates into right around the corner) I decided to have a little ceremony honoring that which is Baby Hockey Jesus after the game tonight. Fellow Untypical Girl Cat joined, but much to my dismay and sadness Untypical Girl and Hockey Coma extraordinaire Caitlin was unable to attend.
So after the heart-breacking 4-2 loss, I gathered the materials and the Baby Hockey Jesus ceremony began. But what does one need to perform this ceremony? It’s simple
Baby Hockey Jesus (or prototype)
Poster with your wishes and sacrifice
Any other hockey related items that could be useful
My bear in a Stars hoodie was nowhere to be found, so Baby Hockey Jesus was substituted by a gold Sprite from Rainbow Brite I got from Taco Bell 15 years ago.
Say hello to Baby Hockey Jesus
Next up was our poster, which was so craftily put together by Moi during a commercial break.
It might be difficult to read, so here is the break down:
- Sidney Crosby: Our Sacrifice Baby Hockey Jesus
- Mike Modano: Mojangles is American Baby Hockey Jesus. He needs another silver drinking goblet
- Sergei Zubov: Let Russians groin not be wonky Baby Hockey Jesus
- Jere Lehtinen & Jussi Jokinen: We need our Finnja’s back Baby Hockey Jesus
- Philippe Boucher: Boucher needs a new shoulder Baby Hockey Jesus
- Detroit Red Wings: They kill puppies Baby Hockey Jesus
So with the poster done, all that was left was to set up the candles and incense and the ceremony was ready to commense.
Our other items were a Brenden Morrow dogtag and Chris Conner jersey.
So we prayed to Baby Hockey Jesus, asking him for the following (other than what is on the poster)
May Chris Conner return to me soon
May all of our players remain healthy and happy
May the Red Wings lose on Feb 17th
May we get past the first round of playoffs please.
We also made note to BHJ that we do not wish harm upon Sidney Crosby, we just figured he’d be the best way to get BHJ to listen to us.
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