Right now they’re playing Guitar Hero and zinging each other with fake insults, but they are the raddest people ever. Period. Forever.
Cat & Jen have been teasing me with this present for months; they’ve been dropping random hints like crazy. It’s been waking me up in the middle of the night. So imagine my joy and surprise when I received an e-mail today at work from Jenlo informing me that my Christmas present was ready.
To which I replied, “WHEN DO I GET IT?”
We met up at Cat’s apartment tonight and I was given three presents.
First up: An empty box of Cocoa Puffs signed by Matt Niskanen. Now, one man’s trash is totally another man’s treasure. Cat, Jen and I get really bored sometimes at work and so we write each other crackheaded things to make each other laugh. Cat & I were discussing the finer points of Russian’s deep-seated fear of cameras and lights, and Cat joked that a reality show featuring Zubov would be just about the greatest thing ever. We were cracking jokes about how Happy Meals & Russian living together would make the greatest reality show ever, for real. (It would be even better than anything you could ever imagine.) Thus, it lead to me stupidly joking that Happy Meals & Russian would have to disagree over something. Russian is very serious about everything, and what could be more serious than who stole the last of Russian’s Cocoa Puffs?
Thus, “They’re not just Cocoa Puffs!” was born. (Cocoa Puffs: The preferred breakfast cereal of awesome Russians everywhere). So what do Cat & Jen do?
When Jussi Jokinen first came to the Stars, Jenlo read the roster as “Juicy Joke-inen? What the hell kind of name is that?”
Thus lead to the phrase “Jussi is Juicy”. So of course, a shirt had to be made, because we’re retarded like that….and of course, the shirt had to be hot pink. In a moment of infinite brilliance, Jen & Cat made this sweetness happen:
That’s right! JUSSI JOKINEN SIGNED A HOT PINK JUSSI IS JUICY SHIRT FOR MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, FRIENDS. (If Jussi totally couldn’t tell that it was a shirt made for him, then he could flip the shirt over to see the number 36 on the back and the words “JUSSIFRUIT” on what would be the nameplate.)
So after I get finished with all of this, we hit the coup de grâce, so to speak….
MITTENS DREW ME A PICTURE!
Well, Mittens knew he was drawing a picture for someone; I seriously doubt Mittens knows who I am at all. Cat & Jen asked him to sign a piece of paper and draw a picture, which they promptly photocopied and framed:
After all this, you would think the awesomeness ends there.
OH NO, FRIENDS.
Jenlo made Christmas cards for every single one of the Dallas Stars. Apparently Brad Winchester was really thrilled about his Christmas card. Jenlo asked Brenden Morrow to make more On the Ice videos, and how can you not love a Christmas card that starts out with this?
Dear Finnja Mittens,
I love you so hard.
Holy…God. These girls are awesome! Mittens, Happy Meals and Jussi just made my Christmas so rad for me that it’s not even funny.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!