Posted by: Caitlin | October 15, 2007

From Russia With Love

It’s Caitlin checking in again. You know, with our recent losses to the Flames and then to the Blackhawks in what was arguably the most saddening game I’ve seen in a long time, I’d like to stay positive. Upbeat. Looking at the glass half full and all that. Sure, Tobias Stephan got totally robbed, but did he not rock? Good job, Toblerone (credit goes to Daryl “Razor” Reaugh for that one). We were all proud of you, Stephan.

But that’s not the point of this post. There are players to be excited about and happy about, even when we lose. Sometimes, in this world of hockey, there are players that shine. And sometimes, they’re not really that noticed at all. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sergei Zubov.

Yeah, that’s him! Number 56. Here at Untypical Girls, we don’t call him Sergei or Zubov or even Zubie; he has one name for us, and that is Russian. Not The Russian, or A Russian, just Russian. He’s really the only Russian the Stars have (although, I must point out, he is now an American citizen), but Zubov is one of the greatest Russian born players in the NHL, so he is just Russian.

Russian has had a fairly awesome career. He’s played for the Rangers, the Penguins and the Stars now for many years. He’s won two Stanley Cups (one for the Rangers, one with the Stars) ; it’s my understanding from the Great Wikipedia that Zubov has been inducted to the Russian Hockey Hall of Fame; he’s been nominated for the Norris trophy, and he had a kickin’ rad All-Star commercial. His stats are pretty awesome for a defenseman too; 149 goals with 587 assists in his NHL career. He even scares Tampa Bay Lightning fans who sit next to the Untypical Girls at hockey games!

The team leans pretty heavily on him – even some of the Stars have openly admitted that he doesn’t get noticed. Yet Russian always seems to fly under the radar. Why is this? Why, Russian, do you never get the renown you so rightly deserve?

Probably because Russian actively shuns it.

And when I say actively, I mean, it is my theory that this man has an underground bunker in Siberia where he hides out in between games. I theorize Dave Tippett must know where his bunker is, somewhere. He at least has to get Russian messages about games and practice times. Is he ever in the locker room? Can anyone actually confirm a Russian sighting recently aside from him playing?

Russian rarely does promotional appearances. He hardly appears in interviews. Russian reportedly hates to be singled out for personal honors and always puts his team first.

Sergei, I am putting an end to this self-sacrificing ridiculousness. You’re an American now, and it’s time to trample over people and damn the consequences! Being humble is great and good, but I live in terror that someday, when you retire, people will forget you. And that’s not right! You deserve, nay, you have EARNED a spot in every hockey hall of fame EVER. I don’t care that you’re not Finnish, you deserve to be in their hockey hall of fame too! My god, man, if I remember correctly, you were second in points last season for our team! You should be a bright shining beacon to future hardcore Russian hockey players of awesome! Yet, you score goals, win shootouts and hang on to pucks with the craftiest little moves and then you go sit on the bench like it’s just another day at the office.

I swear, Jenlo and Cat probably have a battle-stations-ready kind of emergency survival kit for me when Russian retires. Let’s face it; Russian is not young. He’s not old either; he’s still crazy talented but 37 years old in the NHL is on the other side of the curve. If and when Russian retires, I will probably need Stolichnaya mainlined into my veins. I mean, seriously. This man is that awesome.

Well, I have news for you, Russian. If you won’t do it yourself; if you won’t stand up and say, “Yes, I’m awesome!”; if you won’t bask in the warm glow of the spotlight that you should have been sharing with Modano at least some of these years, then dammit, I’m going to have to do it for you. Don’t think I won’t.

Every game, Russian. I will post something here about how awesome you are and people will listen. Or read. Or something like that. Either way, they will know about how cool you are.

So, to someone in the Dallas Stars organization, please drag this man on camera. Fifteen seconds, this is all I ask. He doesn’t even have to talk about hockey. He can talk about the weather, or fishing, or how much he hates being on camera, I don’t care. But I feel like Russian is so underappreciated. And I don’t have a way of saying, “Russian, you rock and are the best,” besides this blog.

And maybe a cookie bouquet. But that would be kind of lame.

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Responses

  1. I do in fact have an emergency kit for you prepared. It’s called “50 bottles of Stolichnaya and a Russian fur hat.”

    Also, I bought three Toblerone bars at CVS earlier. No kidding.

  2. PC Load? What does that mean?

  3. Cat –

    We will probably need that in two to three years.

    Raskolnikov –

    It’s official – you win at life! Love the blog, by the way.

  4. How can anybody not love Sergey Zubov? If it weren’t for Boucher, he’d be my favorite player on the team.

    My favorite thing he does is drag the toe of a skate as he zig-zags out of the zone.

    Great blog, y’all!

  5. Patty –

    Thanks for the nice comment. We are also big fans of Boucher here, and believe me, we were so incredibly excited to be able to meet him at the Ice Breaker….

  6. You ladies are a riot!! I have very much enjoyed checking out your blog, which I ran across on accident googling Zubov. As a season ticket holder and female, I applaud your passionate love for the game! YEAH!!! More like-minded ladies!! So chill the Stoli, line up the glasses and toast the Stars!!

    BTW, here’s another random Finnish word for you…Kitos – means thank you (learned while flying on Finair!)

  7. Sandi –
    I’m so glad you’re enjoying reading our ramblings!! The Stoli here is always chilled, and we are always ready for some serious Stars hockey!

    Thanks for the new Finnish word! We’ve now added something else to our slim lexicon.

  8. Sandi –

    Oh goodness, thank you so much!

    We love getting to hear from other female Stars fans. It warms our cold little hearts so much.

    And also, anyone who has flown Finnair is my personal hero. It’s my new life’s dream, along with becoming a Finnish hockey announcer.

    (Also, I too run across random things while googling Zubov. It’s amazing the things you find, isn’t it?)

  9. Since you ladies have such a love of Zubie and Russian things, how is your Russian vocabulary??

    A dear friend of mine taught me some hockey cheers just for Zubov!

    “Davay!” (means GO!!)
    “Shaybu!” (means puck!)

    As for flying Finair, that was a sweet little luxury on my way to St. Petersburg (almost any airliner is better than Aeroflat).

    I don’t know about becoming a Finnish Hockey announcer, but I sure wouldn’t mind becoming a Finnish Hockey wife! Hell, I would just love to be a Hockey wife.

    Ladies, take care!

    Das Vedanya!


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