There’s a great article on the official Stars website about Happy Meals. His two favorite players growing up were Mike Modano and Uncle Mario - both forwards. Matt, you should add Sergei Zubov to that list before he comes and stabs you. The article mentions that dropping out of college to play hockey was a tedious decision that he spent hours discussing with his parents. It also mentions that he was double majoring in health and physical education. Man, I’m glad the kid is good, otherwise he’d end up a gym coach in Minnesota.

Also, in case you were wondering, he did buy a new car - a 2008 Chevy Silverado. I don’t know what happened to the pimped out Sunfire.

So today in Atlanta, the press interviewed the NHL YoungStars and the coaches did a roundtable discussion or something like that. I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it. I tuned in a little late. Actually, really late, because by the time I turned it on, they were interviewing Tobias Enstrom. Apparently they saved the best for last, at least that’s what the interviewer said. Whatever, Mr. Interviewer Man.

They also took a bunch of photographs. A quick search of Yahoo! Sports and Getty Images leads me to the pictures of Matt Niskanen, and…Man, he looks awkward…

This one isn’t too bad - he’s just playing NHL 2K8 with Mike Lundin, whose sweater-over-oxford combination makes him look like a London schoolboy. The flash of the cameras makes Matt look a little pale, and makes his shirt look white, which it is not.

Oh, Matt. You look so awkward, and I think you should change your shirt and wear a tie. A white shirt with a tie that is some shade of green would look great on you. I have to say that I’m glad you shaved, because that chin-pube thing you had going on a few days ago didn’t look so hot. Also, doesn’t that jacket look a little big on him? I don’t know, the whole thing just kind of looks “I borrowed this from my dad” to me.

So they got portraits of the guys in front of the NHL All-Star banner. That’s all good. However, they put them on thrones. Yes. You read that right. Thrones.

You see that? He’s on a throne. What? I’m confused. He also looks awkward.

See, some of the other YoungStars didn’t look awkward doing this. They looked totally comfortable and fun. Matt Niskanen has obviously been mentored by Russian, because he looks like he wants to get back to his hotel room and play XBox while drinking Stolichnaya.

This is my favorite - he’s smiling a little and I think it’s cute.

Anyway, I hope Happy Meals is having fun in Atlanta. Maybe he’ll get lucky and Ribbons will take him to a strip club while they’re there.

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